Perception

On being authentic

I have tried to adopt for myself this concept of self improvement, taking on personal goals and challenges that all appear to be the same as every other self help guru.

For four months I religiously practiced the same five daily habits and then I quit, simply decided that I was seeing no self improvement, I was starting to feel resentment for what I used to enjoy and I was driving myself insane in the process.

So I quit, gave up, waved a little white flag and decided this isn’t for me. I choose to focus more on my morbid creations, turning the mundane into the macabre and finding a whole load of happiness along the way.

Now here’s the little twist I didn’t expect, a couple of these habits that I had recently rejected, starting to creep back into my daily life. I had agreed that the vitamins were advantageous for a lady of life changes… However, I missed my daily Japanese on Memrise and that started returning into my life. (the Korean hadn’t, currently, but it was ambitious to try and learn two languages at once) but because it wasn’t forced, instead of putting it off I looked forward to the time learning.

Secondly journalling I missed, similar to this, I pool forth a few thoughts at the end of the day and put a gratitude slip into my memory jar. This little ritual also started creeping back into my daily life.

So perhaps the answer is to give up ‘forcing’ the issue and just to let it flow and form naturally into each day, instead of being so obsessed that I was a failure, I now find myself more focused on my creativity and just let the habits develop naturally alongside my passions instead.