Finally, after everything that has happened recently
– I can simply be and appreciate the sky …
Happy, relaxed, free and relieved x
… some weeks can be more of an adventure than others!
Anne Harrison 21.04.18
… Seriously, if you could have a Friday 13th exactly one week late, that would definitely define the kinda morning so far, but I’m embracing the chaos with a stubborn enthusiasm… I’m still not looking forward to tomorrow and can’t wait until the return of normality. At least charging through the day at a frantic pace is stopping my mind from dwelling on forthcoming events – Hopefully, next time I check in with you all it will be over and done with …
Talking of getting things over and done with!
15. Favorite Quotes.
I’m pretty sure I’ve done this before, possibly several times and I’m pretty sure that each time my favorites change subtly. I suppose that’s a good thing, my mind isn’t stagnant, frozen with an inability to change, so what inspires me can flow and change with me and others, lingering within my heart stings, they remain the same …
Ten different quotes from ten different sources of inspiration – do another ten quotes a week from now, without looking back and they wont be the same – words are inspiring, destructive, emotive and so much more – They ‘reach deep into your soul’ and there are lines we pick up along the way, the ones we use, they haunt our minds with swirling dreams that make us who we are – they grasp our heart and leak into our being, so much so, that they are carved upon our headstones and carries us into the next world. People are remembered by their words – spoken in the midst of an argument, they remain like scars upon our spirit – Spoken in the heat of passion and they linger with joyous tears. Memory is connected by words – we recall phrases and sayings, old wives tales and limericks from our childhood – they are collected as we grow – we change yet they remain the same – like a constant companion, a sweet lover, a soft warm sofa – where we can find comfort and embrace imagination … Anne Harrison 20.04.18
Silly List Continued – Thankfully the last few are less engrossing than reflecting on my whole musical tastes in one question – some maybe summed up in a one word or slightly sarcastic reply …
9. Places you want to go
10. Ways to cleanse for spring.
… Errmm … Clean!
11. List essentials.
Toilet Roll – Breathing – good health – food and music …
… Really vague question that one
12. Things that feel like home.
Roughly translated as – Places where I feel most at home … Watermead Park – Leicester – London – Japan – British Museum – A Library or Record Shop…
13. Things to make.
A mess – A noise – false promises to myself – Dinner …
14. Childhood Dreams.
I used to have a really weird recurring dream about soldiers marching during the Napoleonic Wars, the blood in my ears was like marching boots and I clearly remember the strange sensation of sand or flour running through my hands…
Assuming that the question actually referred to goals and not the dreams you dream at night – then I wanted to be a Dog handler in the RAF and retire from the forces for a career working in security with sniffer dogs in airports …
Throw back Thursday *and* 6 questions answered today – I spoil you guys! Only three more questions to go – a new plot is hatching in my mind and once again I have found writing as a great companion to get me through a few rough days and bounce back (hopefully) to my normal-ish self … *fingers crossed*
Anne Harrison 19.04.18
If you could kindly disregard anything between 101 and today (108) that would be great… It has taken me this long to regain a grip on things and finally focus on writing properly instead of just bumbling bullshit to fill a daily blog, life has, without a doubt, been challenging recently and even though I’m not quite through the woods just yet, I am starting to see a point beyond all this mayhem and I’m really starting to crave mundane normality.
The list found in my old journals, which was supposed to provide some element of direction and fun got frozen on Number 8 – My Favorite Albums – and I’ve been stuck in limbo since. Yet this time away from such overwhelming enthusiasm which initially embraced me regarding this subject has given me the chance to develop a simple top ten list without going over the top …
I honestly believe that I could quite easily create a Top 50 list without too much trouble or effort, but then I would still think of more to add, swap or re-listen to.
With this list in the back of my mind, I have dug out many an old CD over the last few days to help me get my mind straight. Music is my council, my strength, a raw source of energy and a way to escape. It has been a crutch in recent days and for that I am so thankful. Perhaps I will try to zip through the rest of the answers on the list without too much distraction now, though I am going to try and lump them into one blog, so that I am free to move beyond this challenge within a challenge that I have created for myself … For I have seen a sign, in the most unlikely of places and feel that there is something else I need to be using this space for!
Anne Harrison 18.04.18
I have found myself completely distracted from any sense of direction with my daily writing currently. From my list, from my second list, from any sort of order!
Continuity isn’t one of my strong points… Yet, how do you keep up with a thread when life barrels into you with one thing, then the next and more crap layered on top of that!
I feel like I’m so overwhelmed that I’m lost for words and my life isn’t my own.
Perhaps, I should have never started this dumb idea? I get so far then … Nothing…
… it’s like I’m frozen and treading water!
I’ll try and write more tomorrow x
Anne Harrison 17.04.18
I love this feeling, it is a sensation that I relish in and even deliberately encourage my body to react in such a way by playing music that triggers this effect or even scenes from movies that make my spine tingle. I get goosebumps running up my arms, down my thighs, race up my back and tickle the back of my neck. It’s not only music, but sometimes smells that cause this reaction – however this is less frequent and usually relates to a scent from childhood.
I’m racing for time to write today, and I could include so many, many spine tingling examples of ‘music to ride goosebumps by’ but I lack the screen time today (because of training) … However, there is one Master of this Art and you will find him in the majority of my favorite films – Sometimes my passion for films and music merge lines so finely that these subjects ultimately merge.
The Master – The Artist – The one and only John Williams!
Anne Harrison 16.04.18
Considerably less stressed/anxious today, but the nervous exhaustion has wiped me out this afternoon and events from yesterday are catching up with me.
Perhaps some quiet time is due.
I don’t rest enough, I realise that now and because I’m always on the go, I find that sleep may escape me. At least I know why I can’t sleep.
Having said that, it feels weird trying to relax.
That is why writing helps, even if it is a silly list, an extended passion for all the music I surround myself with, little snippets of crappy fiction or (mostly) mental purging. Writing is like a safety blanket, especially writing daily. It’s my time for myself, no matter how brief.
I’m starting to think I’ve left my story now for way too long … Events have played out within my head and it always feels like I’m hitting a dead end, I should never have killed Kane, I still feel that the whole story died with him and I’ve lost my grasp on fantasy.
Perhaps … just perhaps… he’s not dead?
I believe, after writing through my thoughts today, I have some form of aim in mind.
I feel better, brighter, lighter and relaxed …
Anne Harrison 15.04.18