The magic of the Mundane

…Is that even possible?

 

To embrace normality, to enjoy every day tasks, to look forward and have fun at work… That might sound potty, to find comfort in all things dull and boring. However, as I can now reflect without anxiety upon events of last Wednesday, here I am one week later, finding joy in sitting at my desk. Please forgive me if I can not explain in details the circumstances which have caused so much distress. I fear that I do not know who is reading my work and although my blog posts are shared on Twitter and Tumblr only and not Facebook (where I know some trolls live) I am still reluctant to talk freely for fear of any further explosive outbursts.

In other words, I am far too intimidated to complain.

So I have been cryptic, I am vague, but even these few words are all aid in my processing events and regaining some measure of myself once again.

This I have found in embracing all the normal every day shite which is usually mindbogglingly boring. I am fortunate that I really love my job, so being back at work is refreshing. I’m back at University class, surrounded by good friends and immersing myself in a language from a culture I adore. Even my daily bus route feels comfortable. Slowly I am becoming more of my old self again.

This shock has also ignited something else I feel I have neglected in my life. My grief. Instead of refusing to accept this emotion, I’m actually starting to accept the fact that I do miss my Mum and I need to allow myself to grieve, that it’s alright, it’s not something to be ashamed of.

Maybe sometimes a unpleasant situation might awaken deeply buried feelings? I don’t know, I’m not an expert on such circumstances, I’m just plodding along at my own pace, finding my feet again, putting life back together in my own way and accepting new emotions that have arisen. Writing helps me put all these cryptic clues into perspective and although it might not be interesting reading for you, you beautiful cupcakes that read my mad scribblings, please trust me, this, along with my mundane tasks, it all helps me to shine once more.

… And a shiny Anne means more stories…

Thank you for being there, where ever you are, whoever you are, just thank you for being you  x

 

Love Anne Harrison

03.05.17

Gathering my Thoughts

Reflecting on current events…

I’ve not written to you for a while,  mainly because I’ve been exploring regions with limited WiFi, which can be nice. To step back in time to an era where your phone isn’t pinging every few moments with a new ‘like’ on something someone else said weeks ago and is still doing the rounds…

Secondly, I have not written as I have needed to give myself some time to (try) and process a very traumatic event last week.  Mostly I fear I’ve become some dandy snowflake, easily offended and reduced to tears by harsh words. Yet being threatened with my life, feels like more than simple harsh words. Even if the threat was shallow and directed at not just me personally… I saw my companion shaking so deeply with shock, that in reality,  even harsh words may have a physical effect.

Forgive me if I am unable to go into detail regarding events. However I can assure you that this did not happen abroad,  but instead on home soil. Even writing so much, so vaguely makes me feel ill at ease inside. My nerves and anxiety have taken days to calm down, my thoughts churn events like a tornado of words…

I am reduced to a weak and feeble female and I hate the fact that someone can destroy my peace of mind so wretchedly. I need to regain myself and my independent spirit that ventured forth to begin with.

I can not allow one bitter vile person to ruin who I am, when in reality I (hopefully) will never cross paths with them again.

But currently, I just need a little time…

… Thank you for reading x

Anne Harrison 01.05.17

WiFi at last!

After a week of exploring,  I’ve finally found a WiFi signal… It’s been refreshing to detach myself from the Internet and travel to astonishing destinations.

I feel like I have so much to write about,  but an early flight and sleepy eyes makes it hard to type,  I thought I would share a few of my photos for tonight, hope that is alright with you beautiful darlings?
Love Anne xx

25.04.17

 

Adventure

*Musings*

 

I have so many ideas brimming around the corners of my mind, haunting my dreams, characters knocking at the door of creation demanding life. Yet my time at the keyboard has been limited by real life adventures around the country and beyond off to foreign wilderness, ever inspiring my frantic mind, fueling my desire to write despite my inability to do so.

I have notebook and pen packed with me, I have freedom to scribble notes and pour forth my dreams onto paper. The next six scenes have already been played out, yet by the time I get to kill my darlings, I know the plot could change. That is why I love the freedom of writing without thought, to allow my hands to direct the course of action.

I have visited some incredible places and the list of locations before me is even more impressive, I am nervous, I am excited, I hold anticipation barely in check and I know that inspiration will follow me like a bouncy puppy, jumping up always needing attention.

I see inspiration in art, in buildings, in scenery, in the people I meet, the people I pass, in my dreams, in literature, in starring out the window absently watching the world pass me by. Words flow into my brain, cram my thoughts with ideas… I might need a bigger notebook.

I should like to write about my travels too, if my characters ever let me, and I can try if I find WiFi… For now, I must return to work… Even that I can find inspiring!

I will try to write Part 70 at lunchtime, it’s a lovely number to leave you on until I return full of words and slim of wallet…

 

Love Anne x

19.04.17

 

 

 

The Photos on my Phone

Pulling myself up off the ledge and finding my wings…

***

I found a way to make me smile

I found a way to lift my day

I found a few sad memories

And some forgotten memes

 

My gallery

This is where I’ve been

Who I’ve seen

My life captured in snap shots

 

People I adore

Places I’ve explored

Music I’ve lost myself to

Art that makes me weep

 

This collection helps me see

How fortunate my life is

I have freedom and adventure

Cute selfies and so much to remember

 

I am so very blessed

Even in times of emotional mess

I have my pictures to remind me

The gloom is fleeting slipping away

 

For I am so content to have my gallery x

Anne Harrison 03.04.17

90th Blog Post

I had thought about writing something really profound and deep and meaningful…

… But then I decided I would share some photos instead, highlights of my year (so far)

 

… 2016 has been an interesting year to say the least, with an interesting cocktail of (family) tragedy, stress, worry … with generous amounts of adventure and experience thrown in for diversity, today I chose to focus on the positive, to grasp hold of the fantastic memories I have collected in a few short months to balance out the ongoing family situation. If you dwell too much in the negative, it becomes all consuming…

 

The same goes for the world beyond our own little lives. there is so much hate in the media, so much pain and disaster, we forget to see the beauty which surrounds us…           … It’s hard to see sometimes, but it’s still there, hidden away like a subtle secret.

For my 90th blog I am sharing these images to remind myself how grateful I am…

 

Anne Harrison 15.07.16

 

The Orphan King … falling into the plot trap

Part II… Following on from Writers Block and St Petersburg.

I want to introduce you to The Orphan King, the story, the character and the concept which emerged in my little befuddled mind during my visit to St Petersberg …

As the title tells you, my main protagonist is a King and he is an Orphan, this already provides you with some unspoken information. Firstly his sex, apart from my use of the pronoun ‘he’ a King generally refers to a Male. (though I expect someone, somewhere has altered Regal gender roles in their literature).

In this case my King is male, he is described as an ‘Orphan’ … Now an adult who has grown up, sired children of their own and outlived their parents are not generally referred to as an Orphan… Hence my King is very young… The ‘Orphan’ title also suggests that a major tragedy has befallen our young King, instantly providing my character with a whole back ground story which has lead him to the position of a King… and how does one so young maintain a grip upon his precious position?

Intrigued? Hooked? Bored?  … instantly compared to ‘Game of Thrones‘… (Which I confess I have not read) but anything fantasy based with regal conflicts automatically appears to get referred to Game of Thrones… IMO… However this is always going to be a challenge for any writer, that their work is instantly compared to existing examples of literature within the same genre, usually the most famous names and most popular stories…

However, I was hooked by my own plan and spent any free moment I could grasp frantically scribbling down ideas, names, characters, place names, guild names, relations, countries, days of the week and even religion… My world development flourished as swiftly as I had a plot structure and timeline for my young King, his kingdom and closest companions, deadly enemies and love interest…

The pencil skipped across the pages in my notebook in a flurry, my handwriting resembling arcane hieroglyphics as my hand struggled to keep up with my flowing thoughts.

Then I hit a sudden horrible realisation in my work… I had reached a stage in my story where everything ‘classically’ goes wrong, that point where the whole kingdom falls down around his ears and everything I had built up, his trials and tribulations dissolves into chaos… The character ‘crisis’…

My pencil skidded to a halt when this understanding finally gripped me… I had fallen into a plot trap… as much as I wanted to create something unique and intriguing, as much as I thought, believed, fooled myself into believing… I had still hopelessly (and unconsciously) followed a classical story outline… I’m not sure how I had fallen into this trap… but there is was staring me straight in the face and I ceased writing.

How could I pull myself up out of this swamp? How could I prevent my story and my sweet young King from becoming another cliche?

Do I kill him? Or do I go with the flow and keep to ‘The Heroes Journey’?

Truth is, I don’t know – I stopped writing at this point and since then I have not written another word of this story. My young King as his entire empire is frozen in time, static and immobile trapped within writers block, as I struggle between complying with the rules that we are expected to adhere to, or creating a path of my own.

 

Anne Harrison 11.07.16

 

 

 

Writers Block and St Petersburg

You have all these great ideas in mind and none of which surface when you have time to write.

I have been watching both Penny Dreadful and American Horror Story recently to try and empty my head of swirling thoughts and negative emotions and within these shows I have started to see fragments of other works of fiction carefully woven into new tales. Like the infamous Doctor Frankenstein rebuilding life from lifelessness, I see two wonderful series’s creating a jigsaw of work from all other sources to develop new franchises.   I’m left with the lingering feeling that there are no more original ideas…

…News that Back to the Future maybe facing the reboot treatment, ignite comments which reflect my own thoughts, what really is ‘new’ anymore?

There are an astounding amounts of writers out there in the real world and here in cyberspace. I am always staggered by the amount of books I find to add to my never ending reading list. Yet the greedy chappies in Hollywood keep churning out the same old shenanigans, but there’s got to be some unique ideas right?

Or maybe the system is flawed, creativity regulated and the whole process from idea to publishing is so very challenging, that many would be writers give up and take up knitting instead!

When inspiration does strike you feel invincible! Words pour freely onto the page and in your mind you are already seeing your glorious characters wearing a celebrities face on a glowing big screen in Hollywood Nothing can stop you, this is it! The breakthrough you’ve been grasping for, the road to fame and fortune is within reach and you become obsessed to get the whole thing down on paper, these moments are fleeting you have to cling onto them before they drift away like a dream chased away by the mornings alarm…

… Once gone only gloom remains …

I had been stagnant, all ideas were all hollow clones of existing stories, written in an inferior tone and (as above) I felt like nothing was new and my mind was my own worst enemy. However, sometimes inspiration appears when you least expect it and sometimes triggered from the most curious sources…

 

My recent travels took me to St Petersburg, Somewhere I never thought I would visit! Yet here I was surrounded by a unique culture, by exotic palaces and a deep rich heritage. Laced with a history scattered with tragedy, betrayal, murder, revolution and conspiracy… I was inspired, my mind awoken by the garish colours, lavish gold, marble and tapestries, all next door to old crumbling apartments, neglected from Communist regime…

My pen flowed through pages with ease and grace as my story developed from the sights around me, days were spent in lazy sunshine, scribbling notes and playing through scenes in my mind. I never expected to visit Russia and I never expected Russia to inspire me so deeply…

… And how could it not?

To be continued…

 

Anne Harrison 07.07.16

The Return of the Kitty

Missed me? Well I’m back and before you run away screaming, I hope you will take a moment to read through my thoughts… Or not, the choice is yours…

You might have noticed a lack of posts over the last few weeks, so I’d like to share a little about my recent adventures.

The world has been thrown wide open to me this year, without a shadow of a doubt, my experiences in Japan will leave an ever lasting impression upon me and I ache to return one day. Recent weeks have ticked seven more countries off my bucket list, which is why I’ve not posted currently (No WiFi you see – but that’s another story) …

… Circumstances offered me a place upon a cruise around the Baltic States and I would have been a fool (and rude) to refuse a place upon the floating city known as the ‘Azura‘. A beauty to behold, majestic and powerful and my home for two weeks. A cruise is something I had never expected to go on, expensive and outrageous, a cruise I considered way beyond my meager pocket. Yet there I was, stood on deck watching Southampton slip away from view heading to Russia – Another place I had never expected to go to!

But I don’t want this to be another holiday blog… I will write about the countries and my travels at a later date, I wanted to write more about my observations people watching and the questions that have come to light in regards to my own life.

In particular, our dining companions… Each evening we would sit at a table for eight for an astonishing meal, which was like eating Christmas dinner every day. I shall mention no names and remain polite, for I have nothing against anyone I was seated with, though I got a glimpse into the life of ‘how the other half live’ those who collect cruises and air miles like nectar points, the retired, the well seasoned traveller and the proud grandparents.

A long daunting list of countries visited, places explored and personal achievements felt a little uncomfortable to begin with as I felt intimidated, like every boast was a challenge. I started to feel inferior and began questioning my own life choices…

What if I had gone into the RAF?
What if I had gone to University (as a Teenager) ?
What if I had got decent grades?
What if I had never got involved with *** ?
What if I had chosen a different career path?
What if I had had children?

All these questions haunted me as I listened politely to the meal time chatter, I felt inadequate, I felt incomplete, like I was missing a great chunk of my life, something everyone around me appeared to grasp with such passion, such love, devotion and pride. I was missing the huge segment that everyone else upon the table held with unquestionable devotion – I was not a parent!

I have a cat, a really pretty cat… But a cat is a cat is a cat… She can not deliver unto me these qualities which consumed the conversation daily, especially, particularly regarding Grandchildren. Frightening! I have friends my age who are grandparents and I’m not even a Mother. I have a cat, sometimes she brings me dead things, a moth, a wing, a bat …

Am I destined to become a crazy cat lady, surrounded by poop and fleas. Living in haunting regret that I have no Children or Grandchildren?

I don’t think so… But I don’t have a crystal ball that can reach into the future and read my mindset in years to come… I am however clear in my thoughts currently and currently I am content as I am, by myself, with my cat. So why must other people make me feel incomplete by their unquestionable love for their own offspring? There is nothing wrong with me, with my life choice, my decisions.

My life is just on a different path to theirs, I can accept their proud boastings, but why could they not accept me being me?

 

Anne Harrison 27.06.16

 

 

 

A Tempory Closure

This will be my last Blog about Japan, even though my desire to continue in fine detail still remains, along with my lingering desire to return to Tokyo. I need to reestablish the purpose of this Blog, which was to explore my journey through Creative Writing. The adventure in Japan has been an emotional rollercoaster, it has inspired my words, my thoughts, tastes, passions and ambition. But I can not remain lingering over 10 days of my life, I have been back in the UK a month now and in a few short weeks my next trip launches me into another world to explore. This too will be explored through my words and humble photos, but not yet…

In February I rather foolishly enrolled myself on, yet another, creative writing course. This one through correspondence work. It is May and so far I have failed to write a word, so engaged I have been in my travels. So my sweet readers, this must be my last Japan post.

I have never fallen in love with a place so utterly in my life and can think of only two exceptions… Where I live currently and Aberglaslyn Hall in Snowdonia.

Japan is unlike anywhere I have ever visited, yet at the same time, places reminded me of London, Birmingham, Nottingham… Alike, yet never the same! History and culture are both firmly affixed within a society which embraces technology as eagerly as a teenager with a selfie stick. The nation has pride, respect and honour. As well as superstition, religion and ritual.

I have many personal highlights… Witnessing a Geisha in Kyoto … The astonishing costumes and make up of musicians handing out flyers and free CD’s outside the hotel in Tokyo … Godzilla looming above buildings … Anime Japan … Ghibili Museum … Sinking into a Onsen by myself … Trying (but not always liking) new foods … The Trains … Walking until my feet hurt then walking some more … Cherry Blossoms … The city skyline … and so much more …

Sights and smells which will linger with me always! That is until my next return. I ache to go back to Tokyo, but I have to remind myself that I am exceptionally lucky to live where I live, to be able to do as much as I do. For that I am always grateful and thankful for each new day. I am fortunate to have travelled so far, alone, explored so widely, with new friends and having the freedom to express myself here. It is nice to have my invisible audience to keep me company… I know I have gone off topic, but it is all writing at the end of the day.

 

Thank you for letting me share all of this with you …

 

Anne Harrison 02.05.16