104/365

I am beyond exhausted today
Nervous exhaustion feels far more draining than physical
It’s barely late, yet I could quite happily go bed

My mind is off swimming with fabricated fears

I can’t think to continue the music theme
I can’t think what was next on the silly little list
I can’t think

This is why this space to write is so precious to me
If I feel trapped in my mind
I can let my words tumble free

Even if I’m vague-blogging at the highest degree
That’s because my fear, holds the details at bay

And I’m not feeling confident
Not even with my words today

I think that is all I can say
… however, tomorrow is a new day!

Anne Harrison 14.04.18

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103/365

Off tangent again today, but I will return to my funny little list in time. I just have a lot to reflect up recently and my daily scribblings is always a comfortable place to pour forth my thoughts.

I am facing a lot of changes in life, basically, for my health… In regards to my eyes yesterday *cringe *

Instead of letting this get me down, I’m trying to focus (no pun intended) on the positive elements of this situation. Which really isn’t as easy as it sounds, when this is really very painful to live with.

However, my first revelation was in the eye clinic. I was relieved to be told that there was nothing wrong with my eyes and that my vision was fine. All sensitivity, blurry sight and such was due to inflation of the skin and not my eyes.

This was a huge relief and it helped me to appreciate and respect my sight, it’s something which is so easily taken for granted, yet when you struggle to see, you really realise how precious a gift this is and when you’re sat in eye casualty, you swiftly learn just how many people struggle to see, such a simple thing, yet denied to others.

I might look like a mutant, but I can only see a positive outcome from this affliction and that will probably take time, but skin is easier to heal than sight.

This whole situation serves to help me change my life, not just daydream about doing so…

Anne Harrison 13.04.18

102/365

When I say I can’t see and struggle with screens… This is why…

So, because I can’t stand being so uncomfortable with my sight anymore… I’m in eye casualty…

So, perhaps I’ll have a better chance of writing more tomorrow?

***

… Yup, I’m a mutant – without super powers… Unless, being able to make small children cry with my hideous visage, counts as a super power?

Anne Harrison 12.04.18

101/365

Favorite Albums! – Why, I feel like a child in a sweet shop! There is so much I love, so many I want to include and it is a fact that I am totally incapable of reducing the list to a mere top ten… Ooh No no No No no … It’s like trying to ask me what my favorite movie is, or book, or Marvel character, or Pokemon …

So far my musical list has surpassed the total of 30 and I keep thinking of more to add … I’m so NOT sorry, I’m in my element and I’m bubbling around like a dizzy school girl, I almost think I could finish the last 264 days of the year blogging about how awesome music is with very little effort – except I’m not a music blogger and I’m awful at reviews, beyond … “THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!” Which doesn’t make for stimulating reading!

Yesterday I introduced you to three albums that were entangled with my teenage years and growing up, so where do I go from here? I’m tempted to jump head first with my five favorite ‘Death Metal‘ albums … Because, why not?

(in no particular order)

Hypocrisy – Abducted – 1996

Vader – The Beast – 2004

Bloodbath – Nightmares Made Flesh – 2004

Six Feet Under – Haunted – 1995

Kataklysm – Shadows & Dust – 2002

***

If you’re ears have stopped bleeding now, I promise I’ll pick something a little more peaceful tomorrow (maybe) … You have no idea how difficult it felt to narrow this sub-genre down into just five albums, the more I think about who I’ve seen live and which festivals I’ve attended, I could keep adding and keep adding. I think when a particular form of music becomes part of your life, every new album, each new band transforms into a new favorite.

Listening back over these tracks, brings back good memories of a very different me – evidence that, there are elements of positives which might be found within years which hold negative memories. In other words – even in shit, you can still find glitter!!

 

Anne Harrison 11.04.18

100/365

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I never realised before that April 10th is the 100th day of the year! Engaging in this daily project has made me look at the year in a different way, in such as I see each day as a separate day instead of just another Tuesday. It removes the constant circle of days and you are left with looking at just today.

I’m part way through my short list I found in an old journal and even though this has given the daily blog a running theme for a while, I’m starting to look forward to return to my random musings once I reach the end of this list and not jump head first into another, for as comfortable as having a writing prompt is – it also strips away my ability to purge the brain worms onto the screen.

Perhaps I’m more comfortable being uncomfortable and embracing randomness instead of adopting order …

8. Favorite Albums

OMG !!! Seriously!?! You might as well ask me which my favorite cat is! (non-mother version of choosing your favorite child) This question has been torturing me all morning and I *think* I might be able to narrow my answer down to possibly to a ‘Top 30 List’ … However, after a quick tot up of all my mad scribblings – I’ve already blasted past 30!

This theme is going to roll over a few days and I’m not sorry, I’m so in love with music that I feel bombarded by choice and want to hug all the pretty albums to my chest like a protective mother. Where do you start?

Because I’m swiftly running out of lunch break, I’m going to start with three albums from my childhood – which were such a part of my life growing up that I wrote them down before anything else …

Iron Maiden – Live After Death – 1985

 

Megadeth – Peace Sells … but Who’s Buying – 1986

Slayer – South of Heaven – 1988

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Anne Harrison 10.04.18

99/365

One day away from the big 100!
Fancy that … me actually sticking to something for more than three days in a row…
This makes me happy, and despite everything that has happened today (a tale for another time mayhaps) my question for today is of a similar theme:

7: things that make me feel happy body and soul

I’m not sure where to start with this? My mind keeps reflecting upon events of today with a mild sadness,  yet my blog question is regarding happiness. Tears rim my eyes and a little anxiety gnawing at the back of my skull like a persistent itch, yet my blog question is regarding happiness.

Truth is, there isn’t much which doesn’t make me feel happy. The fact that they happened today is just ironic and I’m vague-blogging again… apologies…

Usually I wear my smile with honestly and attempt to find joy in the mundane, beauty in the grime of the city and happiness in my observations. Sometimes my smile is picked up by others, sometimes my smile is greeted by utter contempt. Yet my good days outweigh the ‘meh’ days and I prefer to seek happiness in my life then wallow in perpetual gloom.

I spent too many years trapped under the great paw of that dastardly black dog, too many wasted days clinging to my own negativity that I can not look back in that direction.

I wear my smile with openness and embrace happiness,  but today,  a good mate died and I  can write no more …

Anne Harrison 09.04.18

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98/365

Today’s reasonably weird question, the very oddly worded number 6 … I didn’t write this list and I still have no idea where I found it… lol x

6. Ways in way you can love others

Having pondered over this, I think logically the second why is a typeo and should have been ‘which’ – Ways in which you can love others …

In order to answer this question, without resorting to lists (again) and philosophical debates regarding various relationships between the many individuals which come into our lives and we associate with.

Perhaps the answer is more simply to look at the use of language. ‘Love’ is a very widely used word and maybe used in relation to husbands or chocolate,  yet these are different forms of love … So we need to look beyond the English word for Love, so that we can discover the ‘Ways in which you can love others’ and a little bit of time travel is required, so let’s embrace the Greek language for our answer:

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Alas … no chocolate love …

However, having a wide range of loves, thanks to the Greek, provides a beautiful example of the various kinds of love that surround us within/throughout our lives …

Love,
Anne Harrison 08.04.18