I struggle with insomnia at times, not always,  but I go through bouts where sleep near escapes me altogether. I have been known just to get up in the night and just carry on regardless,  in the hope that by being active,  I shall feel tired. Even to the point of dying my hair in the middle of the night – waking up and wondering why it was a different colour!?

Your Ancestors Didn’t Sleep Like You 

I actually think this is something easier to deal with living alone, for i have no one to disturb if I get up in the night. For too long I have been fighting insomnia, trying to get comfortable,  tossing and turning, counting sheep, counting my own heartbeat, or breath in the hope that repeating numbers would lull me to sleep – only to have my mind chase down wild targets of thought.

Then I started to shift how I thought about sleeplessness. I had extra time in the night to write – i keep an insomnia note book by the bed – hell … I’ve even been known to go out for a walk down to the lake and watch the moon reflect upon the waters surface. 
Surprisingly you don’t need a torch, when your eyes shift to seeing in the moonlight,  the world looks rather clear and serene.

I used my restlessness, started making a cuppa, colouring, reading, stoke up the fire, get toasty and warm… This way I found when I returned to bed, I actually slept and slept better for my night time activities.

Sometimes, it feels surreal,  like your insomnia is a dream and you’re dreaming that you’re awake and can’t sleep, while already being asleep.

In my silly quiz on the 18th, I included some goals that I wanted to focus on. It’s my realisation that (some of) these could be done during my waking nights.
There is nothing stopping me from doing twenty minutes of a Japanese language app…
Perhaps then, I might fall asleep counting in Japanese in my head!?

This concept is very much work in progress, for you never really cease working upon yourself. I suppose,  I shall reflect upon all this, then sleep like a babe tonight …

Anne Harrison 20.01.18

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