Reasons Why I Could Never Write Movie Reviews

*A Personal Amusing Musing*

 

I go to the cinema more often than I should, I adore the solitude, the time to escape the mundane and plunge myself into a tale. I adore the darkness, the ice cream and the size of the screen. I watch a whole range of genres, but mostly Horror, Marvel/DC, Action, Thriller… Basically anything with explosions…

… I’m enjoying my work on my blog, the way it skips from the short scenes of a progressing story, merged with my dreadful poetry and random thoughts, with a sprinkling of rants to spice things up a bit occasionally. Several friends have suggested that I could use this space here to add some Movie Reviews to accompany my passion for the cinema. I can’t do that.

I don’t like movie reviews and I hardly ever read them, I like to form my own opinion with an open mind, I don’t like to know the story before hand, I go on the strength of ‘trailers’ which means I have sat through some weird shit before now, because I wasn’t really sure what I was letting myself watch. Though that is really half the fun at times! A movie review – at the end of the day – is but one persons view alone.

I have noticed that reviews are written in a certain tone of voice, quite similar to professional bloggers, or at least those who take their blog far more seriously than I. A review needs to be carefully written in order to avoid spoilers… This would be my first hang up, I would want to write about the story instead of Mr Fame Pants dreadful acting.

So I would possibly unintentionally let spoilers slip.

I don’t see films as acting – I submerge myself into the tale so much that I forget I’m watching Mr Fame Pants working and I see the character instead. Problem number two – I couldn’t judge ‘acting’… I am very easily entertained  (I think this is because I do not own a TV) so basically everything is awesome…

I think should I write a review, it would run along the lines of overwhelming enthusiasm an overdose of the word ‘awesomeness’, unintentional spoilers and a summery which is based on whether I would buy it on DVD or not…

Lets face it, I’m not good at being critical, I prefer to be emerged, I forget to look for ‘Easter Eggs’ I never scoff which an unimpressed “As if!” … Because it’s a movie – it is designed to be beyond real, to be fantastic, emotional, larger than life and make believe…

I think I’m too dipsy to write a clear review as I can get too excitable, I always have, I could not sit still in my seat as a child because I wanted to jump into the screen and throw myself into adventure. I believe my movie obsession fuels my love for writing and I am fascinated by the whole process from idea to story to screenplay to screen (and all the little steps in between) Yes! I do judge a film against a book – if I have read the book that is – But I can accept that a film is another persons translation  upon the book and everybody see stories differently in their minds.

I can’t write a film review – I prefer to collect experiences and each film I watch at the cinema is another experience to treasure.

 

Anne Harrison 10.11.16

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2 thoughts on “Reasons Why I Could Never Write Movie Reviews

  1. I totally get that. I so submerged in film I barely know an actors name. For that couple of hours the whole thing is real. Genre wise I’m game for anything, we have slowly working our way through Empires top 500 films of all time. I also don’t bother with reviews, I write about albums that get little or know exposure and only albums I genuinely like. As for your story, it’s great fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Iain, I’m in a rather playful mood today, so I was bumbling through with my thoughts here. I admire people who do write reviews, because I would no doubt fuck up… Lol x

      Like

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