Number 6 and 7…

Having a little more Pointless Fun!

6. Five ways to win my heart.

  • Feed me coffee and cake.
  • Cuddles and hugs.
  • Talk to me.
  • Listen to me.
  • Be yourself.

 

7. List 10 songs I’m loving right now… *time to abuse YouTube*

 

Anne Harrison 29.01.16

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Never Tried This before!

This was found on Pinterest, it’s something I’ve seen a few times on various blogs and it is the sort of thing which looks like pointless fun. I have always been interested in what other people have included in their versions, enjoying these little snippets into others lives.

However being of a self-deprecation nature I’ve always held back from participating in such challenges, that horrible little voice inside your head, the ‘brain worms’ I call them, say shit like “no one would be interested”, or “you’re not clever enough”, “you’re boring!” But I’m more inclined to ignore the little bastards now, so lets try something new, venture out my comfort zone and write a little about myself…

 

Don’t worry, it’s wont take 30 Days!

1. List 10 things which make you really happy:

  • Music – All sorts of Music, especially live music, concerts and festivals.
  • Movies – Particularly going to the cinema.
  • Art.
  • The sound of rain on my roof.
  • Coffee – Cake – Cuddles.
  • Home.
  • Travel.
  • Reading – Learning – Writing.
  • Nature.
  • Finding beauty in all different random thingies.

 

2. Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.

“Depression is a choice lovely”

… just five words which changed my whole life around.

 

3. What are your top three pet peeves?

  • Being ignored – I wrote quite a bit about this in my off-line journals to clear my head of this hang up. It still annoys me and I have to remind myself that they are the one with the ego to fuel, that they overlook those who lack their level of intelligence (such as myself)…
  • Having to empty my loo! – Not a peeve as such, just unpleasant…
  • That Cake is Not a healthy option! – That’s just wrong!

 

4. Write about someone who inspires you.

Nick Cave After watching 20,000 Days on Earth I fell in love with just how ‘normal’ he is, yet totally eccentric at the same time. I absolutely adore his use of words, in lyrics, in poetry, in conversation and expression. Painting pictures with words. For survival – overcoming addiction. In concert – with the relationship he maintains with the audience. For obscurity yet also popularity. A modest ego and impressive intellect. For the creation of music using layers and language to build artistic songs.

 

5. List five places that you want to visit.

  • Japan
  • Canada
  • New Zealand
  • Europe
  • China

Anne Harrison 28.01.16

 

The Enigma of …

Following on from my thoughts on Monday, I wanted to just sit before an empty page, to write and see what words pool forth from my foggy brain. Not much currently, maybe I’ve not had enough coffee yet?

I started this blog to explore my reflections upon attending a Creative Writing Course at Leicester University. I cover writing themes which pop into mind and I add some of my own silly scribblings from time to time. Then I will slip off course entirely and ramble cryptically regarding life events, my emotions and fluctuating head space.

Granted I have a lot on my mind currently, 2016 has started with drama which continues to be unfolding, though I have now settled into that chaos around me, choosing to deal with one day at a time, one situation at a time and trying to provide the best support I can throughout it all. I keep typing what I want to say then deleting whole chunks of text, I’m not ready to share everything, which means I’m left writing half thoughts and nonsense.

The words left unsaid, those deleted, they are the most important, they tell the truth. But how can I express myself so deeply, when I can not find the correct words? How do I tell the truth, when I don’t know who to trust? Therein lays my enigma…

Anne Harrison 27.01.16

 

 

I am an Enigma to Myself

Each time I find a way to get my posts back onto the subject I created the blog for, albeit in the roundabout way of my rambling inner monologue, which frequently divides off into unintentional tangents, I find myself wanting to pour my heart out onto the screen.

It doesn’t really serve any purpose to do so as I don’t like to share this page on Facebook, this is my secret corner of cyberspace. As such I feel safe to write my thoughts, I have no fear of ridicule or judgement here and I do have a lot crowding my thoughts currently!

There is a lot said within that last paragraph, which speaks volumes without a word. For why do I fear ridicule or judgement from Facebook? I don’t know, I feel lost, lost within my own thoughts, lost within life, lost from my friends, from spirituality, from creativity, lost in time. Like my life is dangling in permanent limbo, while the days merge into weeks, weeks into months and all that time everything is on hold.

I feel suffocated within my mind, though I still maintain that I have beaten depression in my life and that I am not currently depressed, I am, however, desperately stressed, fearful and anxious. Which are vastly different from depression and all related to current events which are beyond my control, I want to be able to wave a magic wand and make everything better again or at least back to how everything used to be, a liquid sense of normality which has been lost in recent months.

I have so much on my mind, so much I want to say, but I can not begin to express any of it into words. I want to talk for hours over a slowly cooling coffee, collecting crumbs on a fork from something tasty that I should regret. To pour my heart out freely in regards to my Mother, my love, my stagnant ambitions, recent generosity and forthcoming adventures.  I’m swimming between despair and excitement yet I am silent. For recent outpourings have fell upon deaf ears and I feel as though I have hit a staggering brick wall, one I did not expect. So I write cryptic blogs, absent in any sense of direction, skirting around issues I want to address and, as is true in life, getting no where fast.

So I will keep my troubles to myself, play with words and return to the steady foundation of work. For I don’t know where to start, if I was to share anything anymore, fear of humbling rejection has made me mute.

TBC?

me_by_nixihix-d729scj

Anne Harrison 25.01.16

 

 

 

 

 

Soul Food

Music is the first thing which goes on in the morning, last thing to go off at night (if I bother) as I also like to fall asleep with  my music on. Music is relaxing, inspirational, motivational, uplifting and so much more. It can ease a broken heart or destroy emotions, get you moving or soothe shattered nerves. These are all simple examples of a complex psychological connections between music and the mind that I can think of, off the top of my head without any knowledge on the subject. I make this shit up.

I am quite sure that there are plenty of really clever people out there with PhD’s or Degrees who can tell you far more about how and why music triggers an emotional response, but that is all very technical and possibly boring, involving quotes from even cleverer folk who wrote several books on theories and wot not.

Alas, I’m not that academically minded and cant talk that language. If I want to explore the relationship between music and emotions, or lyrics and stories, I feel that there is only one way to do this. YouTube!

  • 30 seconds of music which promises action, explosions and superheros. Funny how just a few seconds can open a doorway into a whole world of Excitement and Adventure
  • How about having your own theme? A theme which can be translated into menace and darkness… A classical piece of music which has been widely used, yet ultimately belongs to just one character. However, there are many characters who own their own theme. Such as this character or that character. Sooooooo many to choose from!
  • Music can tell a story, without any lyrics, basically it’s darn clever like that! I couldn’t even listen to this all the way through without a tear rim my eye. Funny thing is, I’m not even sure I know the story too well, but you don’t need to when the music can carry you there without words.

I’ve only humbly touched on only the subjects of themes, characters and story telling with the use of music and I’m already nearly out of lunch time, so so so much fun and I’ve only scratched the surface of this subject. I still want to return to what I was rambling about in regards to characters last week and I have a feeling that if I follow this trail of bread crumbs upon this journey through music, we will pop right back on track… eventually…

Also, I will include some more of my own writing one day, but for now, I’m enjoying this little detour and I wonder where this train of thought will lead to next?

 

Anne Harrison 20.01.16