I Want

I found this old list this morning, written back in September I think?
I’m sharing it upon my blog, because it is a helpful reminder, it’s good to see that I have embraced some of these ‘wants’ already, others I need to start or return too…
I also would like to add to this list: to learn some Japanese before March!

I refuse to believe it’s narcissistic to expose these desires, when these are positive aspects and achievable goals. I’m learning to love myself after years of darkness and years of self loathing.  I’m loving life and finally kicked the black dog in the maw for good (ish) Sometimes he raises his ugly head, tries to nip me in the ankles, bring me crashing down again…
But this list! These wants! They drive me forward, so I can out run that bastard!!
These are not unrealistic goals,  they are mindful self care.

Something I have denied myself for so long, for I believed I was not worthy, this is the poison of the black dog, dripping lies into your mind. Everyone is worthy!!!
I make lists, change lists, keep lists… they are focus, wants, dreams, desires…
Not material possessions, but a reminder,  to see how far I have travelled so far and how far I have yet to go…

After a couple of days feeling like shit, after allowing two people to upset me (and I did allow this, I’m quite sure they’re blissfully unaware of my hurt), it was good to find this list…
It proves that life is not always perfect,  you can not be happy all the time, people will get you down…. just don’t stay down!! Please  xx

Make your own lists, remember you are worthy,  create your own goals and a life you want to achieve around these goals.

Anne Harrison. 12.12.15

***

Yes I’m using the word ‘want’ because I’m using determination.
‘I would like’ although polite, relates more to material desires than personal motivation.
So, I want:
5 mornings a week with my kettlebells
Don’t be afraid to learn new moves
To learn yoga
To get myself trim, not thin, not skinny, trim…
To achieve my pole goal and continue with weekly classes
New sports bra so I can skip!
I want to lean about waist training.
I want to look good and confident in a corset
To remember tai chi and chi knug daily
To remember to care for my skin, hands and feet especially
To drink more water, stay hydrated.
To eat better, cleaner, wiser.
To spend less money and work more on hobbies.
To clear my mind of clutter, especially old hang ups!
Read more, write more!
Rest more, without guilt!
Cycle, save, travel and decorate 🙂
And learn to play the violin xx
These are my goals for my life, I have no excuses, I am responsible for my own actions and though time is currently so filled, there is no reason not to plan ahead.
Also, remember a little magic goes a long way…
There is so much more I want to add to this list, so much more I want to do in my life, with my life. So, I can always add to this list. Be more wild and amazingly free!

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